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Chris Johnson

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Irish Joke
« on: September 01, 2011, 02:31:22 PM »

2 Irish Nuns are in a car travelling through Transilvania when a Vampire jumps on the car and trys to get in.

Sister Noola says "what shall we do"

Sister Marys says "pray"

Both nuns pray but the vampire still trys to get in the car.

Sister Noola then says "I filled the screen wash with holy water, lets set it off and send the vampire off"

Sister Marys sets off the screen wipers but the vampire hold on.

In a desperate moment sister Mary says "show him your cross!"

Sister Noola says "f*** ***" but the vampire still holds on  ;D
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Ric Gillespie

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2011, 05:09:49 PM »

You know Marty is going to rap our knuckles for this off-topic indulgence but:

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are enjoying their pints in a pub when three flies simultaneously alight on the heads of their respective beers.
The Englishman politely asks the barman for another glass.
The Scot flicks the fly away and downs his pint.
Paddy picks his fly up by one wing and shakes it violently bellowing,"Spit it out ya bastard!"
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Martin X. Moleski, SJ

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2011, 06:14:29 PM »

You know Marty is going to rap our knuckles for this off-topic indulgence ...

The Chatterbox is the most loosely moderated part of the Forum.  It is for Extraneous exchanges: "Personal remarks, commentary, humor, asides, miscellany.  A great place to make test posts and to practice using the forum system.  A catch-all for what doesn't fit in the other boards."

Quote
... "Spit it out ya bastard!"

I did laugh out loud at these two jokes.  Humor is notoriously explosive, so I can't guarantee that nothing will ever be pruned from the Chatterbox, but so far, so good.  8)
LTM,

           Marty
           TIGHAR #2359A
 
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Bruce Thomas

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2011, 06:42:49 PM »

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are enjoying their pints in a pub when three flies simultaneously alight on the heads of their respective beers.
The Englishman politely asks the barman for another glass.
The Scot flicks the fly away and downs his pint.
Paddy picks his fly up by one wing and shakes it violently bellowing,"Spit it out ya bastard!"

Funny, but Wikipedia tells that joke a wee bit differently.
LTM,

Bruce
TIGHAR #3123R
 
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Mark Petersen

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2011, 07:35:55 PM »

How 'bout a  contemporary American joke: 

A CEO, a Teamsters member and a member of the Tea Party all sit down in front of 12 cookies.  The CEO scoops up 11 of the cookies and then looks at the person from the Tea Party and says, "The guy from the Teamsters wants part of your cookie" and then walks away...
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Hilary Christine Olson

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2011, 10:02:49 PM »

And a Canadian Joke.....................A Lady shopping  for her groceries  went up to the Assistant manager and told him she lived on her own and only needed  half a cabbage. He informed her ,"We dont sell half cabbages only full ones." After several heated exchanges the Assistant Manager said he would talk to the Store manager. So off he went and announced  to the Manager, " This stupid woman  in the produce dept wanted half a cabbage .".just as he said that he realised that the woman had followed him and was stood at his side . Without skipping a beat said ,"And this nice lady here would like the other half" Case solved. A little later in the day the Manager caught up with his assistant and told him how his quick thinking  had saved the day and that a new Managers position had just become available in North Bay. The Assistant said," North bay ! The only thing from  North Bay are Hookers and Hockey Players."   The manager replied with'I'll have you know my Mother is from North Bay!"   
"Really Sir   What position did she play!"
HCO
 
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Mark Petersen

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2011, 11:11:39 AM »

Hilary, good one!  I got a good chuckle out of it and it was a nice way to start the day.
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Don Dollinger

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Re: Irish Joke
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2011, 12:57:03 PM »

An Irish Joke !!!
     
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street  in Dublin when
She met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye!
Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'
She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'
The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'
She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'
The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to  Rome next week
And I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'
She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.'
They then parted ways.
Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'
She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'
The Father asked, 'And tell me , have ye any wee ones yet?'
She replied, 'Oh yes, Father!
Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'
The Father said, 'That's wonderful!
How is yer loving hoosband doing?'
She replied, 'E's gone to  Rome to blow out yer @#$%&*! candle

LTM,

Don
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